itssexualhour:

So I went over to my boyfriend’s house tonight, and we decided to go night swimming. Well, we were kissing and grinding and all that in the pool and suddenly he just hugs me to him and says ‘I love you, and I’m glad you’re mine’ and when he said that I leaned in towards his ear and said ‘mine’ in the same voice as those seagulls from Finding Nemo and then he did it back and we basically sat in the pool shouting ‘MINE!’ at each other for a solid minute.

(Source: itssexualhour)

aceaoi:

I like making sex jokes bc I’m asexual and i don’t mean them at all so it’s an outside joke with the person and an inside joke with myself. it’s twice the amount of joke.

shortflamingo:

hyperheartz:

i wish i was thinner but i also wish that i didn’t wish I was thinner

I never knew it could be said so accurately 

spn-fandom-breathing-heavily:

archivesofgallifrey:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

willgrahamps:

wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple

image

because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.

It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like 

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”

(Source: alexdturnerd)

tetsuyaa:

rin takes “i’ll show you a sight you’ve never seen before” to another level

coolscar:

cyandye:

coolscar:

*mr krabs voice* secret formuler 

*plankton voice* hand it over krabs

*mr krabs voice* eat a dick plankton 

garo-master:

Hyrule Warriors - Sheik of the Sheikah

ampharos:

DLC Costumes

jrne:

vvaddles:

you smoke WHAT

wildcats

garo-master:

Hyrule Warriors - Goron Chief Darunia